2004-11-09 - 2:21 a.m.
Life is such a silly little game. So far, I think I'm beating it at the moment, but I have a funny feeling that I'm not supposed to win in the end, and least not how I'd like to. Someday, maybe soon, I'm going to be put into a situation where I can't win both ways. Why is it necessary to sacrifice one for another? Choice is the only true freedom I've ever experienced, but perhaps there is a way to find more in life yet.
Anyway, I may never fall in love the way I imagine, but the kind of love I experience in my life is still very fulfilling, and worthwhile, as long as I don't feel like I'm holding people back..
Sometimes I have dreams that I'm not supposed to fall in love for some reason. I don't really ever remember why, or if there was any reason. It makes me sad, but at the same time, there is another sort of hopeful feeling there as well. It is difficult to explain. Anyway, I feel that whatever happens, it will probably be for the best.
